1. Remove the rubbish pile.
2. Cover the basement stairs or put in a handrail.
3. Put a door on the garage.
4. Scrape the moss off the garage roof.

To which my responses were:

1. Um, we’re remodeling. Do you really think (a) there would be no rubbish pile, or (b) that we weren’t already planning on getting rid of it?
2. You’ve got to be kidding, right? Fine, I’ll put the damn cover back on.
3. You just want to block access? Will an OSB slab do?
4. The garage is about two years from falling over by itself. And you’re worried about … moss. O-kayyy.

I think most of the concerns were of the “attractive nuisance” variety. Like kids are going to wander into our fully-fenced property and play around in the backyard. What. Ever.

A couple weeks ago we had a company come and get the rubbish ($cha-ching). Last weekend I powered through the rest (half the time in the pouring rain). Here’s the evidence:

No moss on the left

No moss on the right

Look, Ma, no more rubbish!

It's a big piece of wood with hinges -- that must mean it's a door!

The stairs covered back up -- attached with screws this time

(Getting that door on single-handed was a bitch and a half, I tell you.)

I’ve sent these photos on to our agent, who says the inspector never comes back to check in person. She’s forwarded them on, so we’ll see if they’re satisfied or if there’ll be more work to do, um, tomorrow night.