Don’t get me started.

Our agent called last Wednesday to tell us that she had forwarded the last set of photos to the underwriters, and they wanted two things: a photo of the area where the rubbish pile was from the same vantage point so they could see it was the same area; and a coat of protective sealant on the garage door. When I asked what the hell “a coat of protective sealant” meant, she said “a coat of paint.”

That is to say, just to repeat myself: the garage is rotting and will be racing us to see whether it can fall over before we can get around to demolishing it, and they’re worried about a freaking coat of paint on the cheap-ass door.

So fine, I used up the remnants of three bottles of Rustoleum white spray paint and put a @#$%ing coat of paint on the garage door, and took another photo of where the rubbish pile was, which I forwarded on.

The kicker is that on Saturday we got a letter postmarked last Wednesday (the same time our agent was forwarding their new requirements) saying that for failure to fix their conditions they were canceling our policy as of December, and a refund check for the rest of the premium.

Yesterday I called our agent, saying, basically, “WTF? I mean, WTFingF?” She was very apologetic, she had no idea the cancellation letter had gone out, and she would immediately get on the phone with them and make sure our policy was going to continue, and that we could shred the check.

Hopefully, that’s the last we have to worry about this, but I’m not holding my breath.

I guess the moral of the story is don’t buy a fixer-upper. Sheesh.